Reflections from the never ending night

We are pawns in a game that ultimately we choose to play
We are emotionally manipulated by masterminds who prey
on
the
pure

The only way to stay in the game is to
shut up
put up

The only way for peace
is by complying to values
we
do
not
hold

At the end of the day it is a life full of
lies,
deceit,
betrayal,
and blinding prideful ego,
wrapped in a false cloak of love
protected by a misguided notion of
family

This is not love
Not by any definition
Not by any standard
I am no longer playing.

My reaction is based on a lifetime of having to play a game that does not hold the values
I
hold
true

My reaction is my body's rejection of all the falsehood,
and the blatant disregard of
what
is
true

We hold on to a nostalgia that never even existed
We hold on for a standard that was never held
We hold on because we believe holding
is the only way we won’t fall,
fall
apart

Until I let go and realize
now
I can fly

I have no room for the weak and inconsistent
I have no room for the emotional manipulation of the weak
For your broken parts will not break me.

I’m no longer a pawn in this game of deceit and lies
of imaginary worlds
where the rules only apply to perpetuate the disease that make us all sick

I can not live where the truth can't be spoken
I can not live where I am only celebrated when I say the things that
you want to hear

I am not going to live on this pedestal with broken legs
I’m no longer playing this game you call family
For I’m creating a family of my own

I may feel broken
I may be lost
I may be a refugee,
disconnected from everything I once knew
I may never enter the place I once called home
But
I also know the tumour has been
cut
out.

Now
I
heal.